Weird strategies that have actually worked for me, as a published author working on her second book.
Imposter syndrome: the abrasive, often persistent fear that we have not earned our place in a particular skill bracket.
At least, that’s what it is to me. I’m not stranger to imposter syndrome, although I’d love to be able to think of it more like Ilona Maher. (When asked if she experiences imposter syndrome, she simply replied, “I don’t have that.” She continued, “It’s okay to be proud of what you’ve done. It’s okay to believe you deserve something because you’ve put in the work for it.”)
But in case you are more like me and struggle to fight the thoughts of “I don’t belong here”, I want to give you 4 of my personally used tips to combat those trains of thought before you arrive at untrue conclusions about yourself.
Tip #1: Delete social media for a while
Yes, the voices of imposter syndrome are in our heads, but we don’t have to keep giving them ideas with other people’s journeys, stories, accomplishments, and let’s face it, highlight reels.
Start with a few days, maybe extend for a week. Keep going until you’re able to look at other writer’s journeys as proof it can be done, not that they took your spot in this imaginary room of success.
I find that as soon as I start to feel the ache in my chest when I look at another writer’s reel or book deal announcement, it’s time to delete the app and refocus myself. In this time offline, I’m pondering reminders such as:
“My story is not their story.”
“This just shows it can be done.”
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” (This one is a little cliche, but hey, it’s cliche for a reason.)
“My profile is not my identity.”
As a Christian, I am grateful to have the Word of God to fall back on for my identity. Under his guidance, who I am is unshakeable and unmovable by the world.
Keep going until you’re able to look at other writer’s journeys as proof it can be done, not that they took your spot in this imaginary room of success.
Social media is a wonderful tool that can turn strangers into friends. However, we are all familiar with the cycles of comparison it creates. Sometimes you need to step away from the online world and refocus on who you are in this one. Because in the end, this life is the one that matters.
It’s in this life you’re becoming an author. Then you get to tell people about it online.
Tip #2: Journal memories you have of getting the idea for your story
This strategy can happen in that time you’re off social media, or whenever imposter syndrome gets a little loud.
For this strategy, I recommend using pen and paper. Let’s reconnect with the page a little. When you begin, focus on the joy you felt when you started getting this idea.
My current WIP came from listening to a Benson Boone song in the shower, and upon hearing him sing about reconnecting with the girl he should’ve been with all along, I had the thought: “Dang, that must’ve sucked for the other girl to hear that.” And like a little ping, a little spark in my chest, I had a story idea. I rushed to finish my shower, and hair still dripping, I typed out the idea into my phone’s notes.
27,000 words later, I’m writing this post.
We all know it: the moment the story idea took hold of us and wouldn’t let go. Focus on that moment, that ping, spark, or however you describe it, and use it to remind yourself that you are meant to do this.
Because that feeling is called passion. It’s the pure creativity that writers (and all sorts of creatives) are gifted with. Whether it’s your first book idea, fifth, or hundredth, every writer has that in common. That automatically makes you part of the club, and no one can take that away from you.
While you journal your spark memory, try also reconnecting with your “why”.
🌟 Why did you start writing in the first place?
🌟 Why are you working on this story?
🌟 Why couldn’t you forget about it?
These questions refocus on our own paths, making it harder to notice when other’s go directions we aren’t following. You’re not being left behind, you’re following the route meant for you.
Tip #3: Put sticky notes of inspiring quotes around your desk
(Or wherever you write.)
This one is more of an activity, but having physical reminders of your passion can bring you back from imposter syndrome. When the voices start getting too loud, or distracting you from your own book, simply glance up and read the words of the writers who came before you.
I can pretty much guarantee you that they were in the same place you are at some point. Yet, you’ve read their books before. They might be on your shelf as you’re reading this! Let them inspire you.
During my last WIP, I printed a whole list of Stephen King quotes from his book On Writing because I felt inspired by his perseverance and self confidence. I had also recently read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, so I taped sticky notes with quotes from her book around the Stephen King paper. It was a little chaotic, but it stat to the right of my computer, and I looked at that thing at least three times a day.
Tip #4: Don’t focus on being them. Focus on tomorrow’s you
We’re going back to the think exercises here. (Sorry, not sorry.)
This strategy was a harder one for me to get to, so don’t feel bad if you don’t believe it at first. Last summer, when my imposter syndrome was at it’s worse, I had a moment of truth with myself.
I had to realize I didn’t want to be them. (“Them” being the people my brain loved to bring up like it was a lack we weren’t the same person.) I had to remind myself I wanted to be me, because I was writing the book I wanted to read. I couldn’t be these other people, because they wouldn’t write the book like I am.
Write the book you want to read. I promise you, at least one other person wants to read it, too. And do they not matter? Are they not enough to write for? This idea comes from Stephen King who penned it as “the ideal reader.” The one person you write for. They can be real people, or not. His was his wife. Mine? I’m still figuring that out…
Focus on the people that have given you feedback, or given your writing a compliment. (And if no one has, let someone in. At least read them a favorite line. Something.)
I focus on the people that gave Back to You five stars and rave reviews. They aren’t all complete liars, so I had to have done something right.
Set goals to create the life you want, not the one you think you should want. Consider who you want to be tomorrow, then figure out how to show up as them. They are the only “other” you should focus on. Trust me, your future self will thank you.
Imposter syndrome depends on our eyes being on other people. But if you only focus them on yourself, or tomorrow’s you, it’s not imposter syndrome. It’s motivation.
That is what will truly get you to the person you were meant to be all along.
Hope this helps.
